Thursday, July 19, 2007

The upcoming campaign against animal flatulence


A recent study by Japanese scientists reveals that the production of 2.2 pounds of beef is equivalent to driving 155 miles at 50 miles per hour in an "ordinary car" in terms of greenhouse gas emissions. Moral of the story: those obsessed with minimizing their carbon footprints must embrace vegetarianism.

Humorously, the majority of global warming agents released in beef production comes in the form of cattle CH4 -- gastrointestinally produced methane. Methane sequestration seems like a pork barrel proposition on the horizon.

Diehard global warming activists who can't break carnivory should try suppressing their own flatulence, with the added benefit of eliminating a negative externality inflicted upon the general populace. As a correlative measure they ought also to cut their consumption of beans.

The reduction of meat consumption not only combats global warming, but is also humane and healthy. If the United States consume less meat, maybe the nation can start averting the growth of its obesity epidemic.

In the old comic strip Pogo, the character Churchy decides to fight air pollution by stopping breathing. Unfortunately, although there are myriad ways to eventually halt global warming, none present a panacea. Small alterations of habit, like unplugging your cell phone charger, are a good place to start.

No comments: