Top Five Disney World Rides

Today over dinner, someone mentioned to me that a Harry Potter amusement part is in the making somewhere in Orlando. I hadn't heard of it, but it turns out, my friend was right. A 20 acre "Theme Park within a Theme Park" is being built within Universal Studio's Island of Adventures.

Seems like a pretty safe bet on Universal's part. I doubt the "Wizarding World of Harry Potter" will go the way of the "Carousel of Progress." Harry Potter is such an enormous franchise already (I heard today that a camp at Amherst has a Harry Potter theme).

Anyhow, more importantly, at that same dinner, my friend said that he was too old for Disneyland. He's going to L.A. for vacation and he's not going to hit up the Magic Kingdom.

What?

Too old for Disneyland? Not possible. Ok, maybe Julio Franco is too old for Disneyland. But other than that, no one.

Yes, there are some rides that I've outgrown. No Dumbo for me the next time I go to Orlando. But even when I'm too old to go on any rides, or maybe just the people mover, it'd still be worth the trip. The Disney amusement parks are not defined by the rides, they're defined by the atmosphere. Strangely, probably my fondest Disney memory is is simply riding on the monorail, seeing the different Disney hotels and amusement parks along the way--realizing that I'm staying in some completely made up world where there are no consequences beyond puking after a ride or loosing my parents for a few hours.

But I can't rank the atmosphere, so I'll rank the rides. Here are the top five Disney World rides. I'm not ranking Disneyland, since I haven't been there for a long time. Keep in mind that I haven't been to Disney for at least five years.

This was my most difficult list yet--there are so many great rides to choose from.

5. Jungle Cruise: It's funny, but I think the greatest thing about this ride is the lack of detail. If a similar ride were constructed today, you'd hardly be able to tell if the animals were real. However, the Jungle Cruise glorifies its fakeness. Also, the human element of the ride is a big plus--the best actors in Hollywood become Jungle Cruis tour guides, the second rate actors head to the big screen.

4. Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin: Unlike any ride I've ever been on. Yeah, I have ridden on other intereactive rides, but never did I actually think my gun was working and that the competition was fair. The only problem with this ride--I sucked at aiming my gun.

3. Haunted Mansion: This ride is emlbamatic of Disney's greatness. The ride itself is not too exciting, but the unbelievable attention to detail elevates it to an all time great experience. It has the stretching room, the jovial ghosts, the witty headstones. Most amusement parks have a haunted house to simply fill up room. They're not scary since the rider always knows what's coming. The Haunted Mansion, however, does not try to scare you with dripping blood or dangling skeletons. I just tries to entertain you, and it succeeds wonderfully.

2. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad: Very underrated. So many turns and unexpected drops. It's a fun roller coaster. Never are you scared out of your mind (i.e. Superman at Six Flags New England). Instead you are laughing, smiling, and joking with the person next to you.

1. Rockin Roller Coaster: A roller coaster with a story line. Because it's indoors, the ride is not too gut-wrenching, but the blaring music and great scenary contribute to making this the best ride at Disney World.

Honorable Mention: Space Mountain, Cranium Command, the Monorail, the Carousel of Progress, Living with the Land, The Great Movie Ride

Freakfest: Alien Encounter. I'm not sure if this ride still exists, but it was one of the scariest ten minutes of my life. Not at all what you expect from Disney.

Snoozefest: Hall of Presidents

Cryfest: Tommorrow Land Indy Speedway. My legs were never long enough ;(

Barf-fest: Twilight Zone Tower of Terror

Foodfest: Dole Pineapple spears by the Tiki Room

Overrated: Spash Mountain

Top Five Ice Cream Novelties of All Time

This past weekend, at the Amherst Farmer's Market, I had a Popsicle like none that I had ever had before. It wasn't of some action hero with bubble for eyes or some cartoon icon with bubble for its nose.

No. It was a cantaloupe Popsicle, and it was awesome. It was pretty small, but the sweet taste lasted until the very end, unlike other, cheaper Popsicles which lose their taste with time. It had an unusual but at the same time, was unusually refreshing.

I haven't done a top five list in a while, and I thought the time was right to make one. The cantaloupe Popsicle got me thinking to a time long ago in my life when Ice ream Trucks reigned and sticky hands were the norm. A time when you didn't have to go to a Farmer's Market to get a decent Popsicle. I've decided to list out my favorite Ice Cream Novelties of all time. If you think I've left something out, or disagree with my analysis, please comment.

Here goes:

5. Bubble Play: I wasn't planning on putting this into the top five, but then I discovered the name. Priceless. The first few bites into the hard, stubborn gum ball are always great.

4. Firecracker: The only ice-based Popsicle on the list, this is great for holidays on the beach. There are few better ways to show off the Red, White, and Blue than with a Firecracker in your hands and the coloring smeared across your face.

3. Creamsicle:I don't think I'd ever got one from an Ice Cream Man, but creamsicles are great for storing in the freezer. They have the perfect texture.

2. Chocolate Chip Cookie Sandwich: One precaution--do not eat this straight on, it can be killer between the front teeth. Other than that, this is a heck of a dessert. Whoever thought of mixing Chocolate Chip Cookies and vanilla ice cream was a culinary genius right up there with Remy the Rat.

1. Chocolate Covered Vanilla: Don't let the lame name fool you. This novelty might not have the glitz and glamour of Bubble Play or the Firecracker, but it packs quite a punch. The key is the texture of the outside chocolate. This novelty comes in all sorts of variety, and the chocolate coating must be crisp; it cannot instantly fall apart into splinters at contact. If produced correctly, few desserts are better.

Honorable Mention: Pop-Ups. Snoopy. Chocolate flavored soy Popsicles--I've never had one, but my mom has them so often, they have to be good.

Awful and overrated: Chaco Taco! (One of my least favorite foods ever).

Just overrated: Anything that comes in a cone.

Pathetic: The tiny, plastic cups of ice cream you have to eat with a wood stick.

Top Five Summer Hits (That I Can Remember)

My car doesn't have a CD player-- it only plays audio cassettes. For the past year or so, I've pledged to get a CD/Radio adaptor, but I have yet to put together the effort to actually get one.

However, yesterday I was presented with what seemed like a perfect opportunity. At my town library's annual sale, there were loads of audio cassettes, and each was selling for just 50 cents! It seemed like a perfect scenario.

I ended up getting four tapes--some classical, jazz, and MC Hammer (the last one was the big find of the day.)

Yet I now realize that I'm not going to be playing those tapes too much, at least for now. It's the summer, and that means its time to listen to the radio.

Each summer, there are a handful of songs that define the season. Each time I enter the car during the summer, I scan the airwaves, looking for these few, special songs that are deemed Summer Hits. When I find one, I can turn up the volume, clear out my throat, and start singing along to the song I have heard twenty times before. It's beautiful.

It is with this is mind that I have decided to list the top five Summer Hits that I can remember. I'm positive that I have forgotten some , and it is up to you to comment and tell me what I've missed.

Wikipedia defines a Summer hit as "a song which gains huge popularity during the summer and then almost completely disappears when the summer is over."

My definition is simpler--a summer hit is a song that you would definitely hear if you listened to Hot 97.1 New York for an hour during the summer in which the song came out.

Here are the top five Summer Hits that I can remember:

5. Rehab, Amy Winehouse ft. Jay-Z
This is the only Summer Hit on the list from the current summer. I was tempted to list the lip gloss song, but Rehab has just a bit more substance (not to mention Jay-Z). This song meets one of the most important aspects of a great Summer Hit--I can sing to it.

4. Number One, by Pharrell ft. Kanye West
This excellent single prompted me to buy Pharrell's debut album--"In my Mind." The album sucked, but this oft forgotten song is a great one. Kayne steals the show in a big way, eh eh eh, but Pharrell holds his own throughout.

3. Deja Vu, Beyonce
The start of this song is so money. When I heard the bass begin to beat on the radio, I got so antsy. Summer hits are often accompanied by great music videos, and this song has one of the best videos ever.

2. Give it Up to Me, Sean Paul
Sean Paul, Keyshia Cole, Don Corleone! This song is the definition of a summer hit. Last year, you could not listen to the radio for more than 20 minutes without hearing it. If only I could understand what the heck Sean Paul was trying to say.

1. Hollaback Girl, by Gwen Stefani:
This song forever changed the way I look at the word Bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S). If I were driving on a hot, sweaty, summer day, this is the number one song I would want to hear.

In the comment section, please list your favorite summer hits. Maybe I forgot some, or maybe you just have bad taste.

(Note: I did not forget Promiscuous Girl. I just don't like that song.)

The Top Five Pump-Up Songs of All Time

You're running a 5k road race. You're currently in 2nd place, about 10 seconds back from the leader. There's one kilometer to go before the finish. Suddenly, a car pulls up beside you, with massive speakers and a sub-woofer bouncing in back. What song do you want that car to be playing?

You're lifting in the gym, every one's watching--the football coach, the scouts, the cheerleaders. You have five more bench presses to go, but the lactic acid is already starting to build up and your muscles ache. Suddenly, a surround-sound, Dolby-digital speaker system appears beside you. What song do you want to hear?

You're taking a chemistry test. There are 50 multiple choice questions to go, and you only have 10 minutes left. You snuck an I-Pod into the exam room. What song do you want to hear at full blast?

This is one of the more important questions I will tackle on this blog, and one of the more difficult. There are so many songs. There's the rap pump-up songs, the jock jam pump-up songs, the heavy metal pump-up songs.

Please let me know if I left any song out--I am willing to revise this list, as I probably cannot remember every great pump-up song.

5. Lose Yourself, by Eminem
The crescendo is key. It starts off so gently and then slowly but surely explodes. The lyrics also play a very important role in making this such a great pump-up song. They allow you to put such a singular focus on the task at hand.

4. Remember the Name, by Fort Minor
Remember the beat--it is freaking awesome.

3. Get By--the Remix, by Talib Kwali featuring Kanye, Busta Rhymes, Mos-Def, and Jay-Z
This song is the total package. Great lyrics which you can understand. A chorus you can sing to (a very important feature of any great pump-up song). A fantastic beat. This song originally turned me on to rap, and it has turned me on time and again before a long run.

2. War, from the Rocky Soundtrack
Eye of the Tiger gets most of the attention, but this is the best pump-up song from Rocky. The greatest fifteen seconds in all of music begins at the 4 minute mark of this orchestral, synthesizer-filled medley.

1. Come With Me, by Puff Daddy (from the Godzilla soundtrack)
I really struggled with the rest of the list, but there is no question that this is the number one pump up song of all time. After listening to this, you could run through a wall. In case you haven't heard of the song, a YouTube clip of it is at the bottom of this post.

Honorable Mention: Eye of the Tiger, Encore--with Linkin Park and Jay-Z, Final Countdown, Highway to Hell, One Mic, Get that Dirt Off Your Shoulder, Meet the Mets

Others Worth Mentioning: Heat, Shake Your Tailfeather, The NBA Live 1998 Theme Song, Enter Sandman

My Top Five Fruits

If you scroll down to the previous post, you may see that my partner Miller has listed his favorite five fruits.

However, maybe you shouldn't scroll down at all, because the list is seriously flawed. He has two fruits that I've never actually seen someone eat whole--lime and avocado. He has one fruit that is as insubstantial as food gets--grapefruit. And then, to take all credibility out of his list, he has kiwi number one. This is like ranking Clifford the Big Red Dog as the novel of the century.

Here is my attempt to put some common sense into this debate. I love fruit, and I don't want anyone to be discouraged by Miller's peculiar taste.

First, I'll list out the criteria I took into account for my list. In addition to taste, I considered:
-convenience
-fun factor (the enjoyment derived from eating the fruit)
-color
-durability (what lasts in a backpack the longest without being mashed)
-accessibility (how easy it is to find in a supermarket)

5. Cantaloupe
Probably the most underrated fruit on this list. I love how it feels when you bite down on a nice, firm piece of cantaloupe. The one big problem with this fruit is that it's not all that convenient. In high school, I don't think I ever saw someone come in with a cantaloupe in their lunch box.

4. B-A-N-A-N-A-S
When I was little, I was literally horrified by the texture of bananas--they were too mushy. Yet, once I overcame this fear, bananas became a staple of my diet. What breakfast is complete without a banana? It's also great how you can tell exactly how ripe a banana is by simply looking at it. You don't have to feel how firm it is or cut it open--it is perfectly OK to judge a banana by its cover. Gwen Stefani did a noble service by advertising this fantastic fruit.

3. Pineapples
Good canned or fresh, pineapple is an excellent vegan dessert option. CAUTION: do not eat this fruit with milk.

2. Apples
The second best food on the planet.

I probably have averaged two apples/day since I was about five years old. Apples are the perfect snack. An apple can be left in a backpack for weeks, yet still stay fresh and firm (go ahead, try it). There is also such amazing variety--Granny Smith, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious. You can go across the color spectrum and taste spectrum while still staying in the apple genre. It is also a lot of fun to chuck an apple core into the woods once you're finished with it--very empowering.

1. Grapes
The best food on the planet.

Fun to eat (how many grapes have you fit in your mouth?), fantastically smooth and moist, surprisingly filling. I challenge you to tell my any food that is better than a bunch of grapes.

Honorable Mention: Nectarine

Most Overrated: Kiwi, Raspberry, Lime, Grapefruit, Avocado, and Strawberry

(All photos from www.tomarma.com)

Top Five Fruits of All Time

To celebrate my live return from the field, I have decided to address an important facet of my life--fruit. Fruit is not only healthy but also delicious, thereby differentiating the dietary group from its adjacent planty counterpart on the food pyramid. My taste in fruit tends more towards the sour side, but I'm sure that JT will soon regale you with his more mundane list.

1. Kiwi.

Indisputably my favorite, the only downfall of this fruit is that when combined with milk, kiwi becomes unpalatable. The fruit's exterior fur is dissimilar to the skin of any other. Interiorly, kiwis possess a slightly tougher and sweeter core surrounded by a ring of edible seeds embedded in a more sour green matrix. Besides grapefruit, which comes later on my list, kiwi is the only fruit of which I know that gets its own utensil--the kiwi spoon, or spife. The spife has a rigid enough blade to saw through the fuzz and center of a kiwi with ease, allowing the connoisseur to shape her fruit into a polygonal solid.

2. Raspberry.

A close second, raspberries have many kiwiesque qualities. Small and indestructible seeds provide texture, a little hair covers the outside, and the pH is low enough to burn a canker sore. The nodular nature of the fruit allows for many dissection planes. The small central cavity is another source of raspberry amusement. Sharing the name raspberry is a rude form of expectoration that also plays an important role in my life. When I was four, my father taught me how to raspberry. Excited by my new skill, I decided to share the joy with a crotchety old lady at a buffet later that week by raspberrying in her soup. That is the closest I have come to excommunication from my family.

3. Lime.

This filamentous fruit bitterly takes bronze. Not only excellent in conjunction with prepared dishes, lime is surprisingly good when eaten alone. Introduced to the fruit by my grandmother, I have been a proponent of freestanding lime since a young age. She often placed a slice of the fruit alongside her famous avacado garnished salads.

4. Avocado.

Also advocated by my grandmother, avocado was an acquired taste for me. Not until a friend placed the fruit on a melted cheese sandwich did I see the light. A perfect avocado possesses a skin peelable into two or three pieces. After slicing longitudinally, one may caressingly twist the fruit into two parts around the smooth pit. Avacado is perfect on a variety of food, including blue corn tortilla chips and turkey sandwiches (a point my collaborator will surely protest).

5. Grapefruit.
The perfect breakfast item. After slicing the fruit in half widthwise, I recommend cutting around the perimeter to separate the meat from the rind, and then cutting between individual sections. After this efficient procedure, one can eat each section in turn without worrying about labor-intensive hassling. After the fruit is hollowed, one should press the grapefruit spoon against the inside skin to coax out the hidden juices. Although eating grapefruit requires significant effort, the ends justify the means.

The Top Five Cereals of All Time

When Miller and I started this blog, we had planned on doing a litany of lists. We were going to list our top movies, top musicians, top fruits, top dinner utensils, and of course our top desserts. We thought it'd start some nice conversation in the comments section, and give us a chance to share our often eccentric taste.

For some reason, two weeks since this blog's birth, we have yet to pursue this vision.

Well here's a start.

With Miller still out of town, I will hold off on listing my favorite desserts. Instead, given Kellogg's recent decision to stop marketing certain "unhealthy" products, I thought it'd be appropriate to list my top five all time cereals.

Here are some things, in addition to taste, that I considered while making the list:
-crunch factor
-presentation
-destruction time (how long it takes for milk to render the cereal inedible)
-Toys given away in the box

Nutritional value was not taken into account.

Here are the top five cereals of all time:

5. Corn-Pops
The one problem with this cereal is that you sometimes get a bad pop. However, the good ones more than make up for the few bad.

4. Fruit Loops
Maybe it's just because Kellogg actually advertised this to me when I was little, but I have always loved Fruit Loops. I think its the first cereal I ever had in milk. The color combos are a big plus as well.

3. Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Screw the milk. This cereal is tremendous when it is dry.

2. Razzle Dazzle Rice Krispie Treats
This is a real throwback. For a limited time only, this incredibly cereal was the highlight of my day. It consisted of a rainbow array of rice krispie like pieces. It is a real shame that this cereal is no longer made, yet regular Rice Kripie cereal still is.

1. Berry Berry Kix
The perfect cereal. It's good with or without milk, with or without a spoon, during breakfast, lunch, or dinner. It has it all: presentation, crunch, and a remarkable, fruity taste. When cereal was first thought up by some chef in Ancient times, Berry Berry Kix is definetely what he had in mind.

Honorable mention: Honey Combs, Honey Nut Cheerios (the fact that it lowers cholesterol was not factored into this ranking), Post Raisin Bran

Most overrated cereal of all time: Lucky Charms

Also, as a side note, cereal should never contain chocolate.