The Best of Valentine Dining Hall

Given the name and the writers of this blog, you'd think there would be more posts about Valentine Dining Hall, the dining hall of Amherst College. Yet, when we initially launched this blog, Miller and I had very broad ambitions. We wanted a global audience--not one confined to the hills of Amherst, and so we tried to take on topics that wouldn't be Amherst specific (i.e. the top five cereals of all time or the evolution of klezmer music).

Nonetheless, with a dwindling readership, it is time to briefly pander to the Amherst College crowd. To our readers elsewhere, I apologize.

And so here are the top five meals at Valentine Dining Hall. What is a meal? Something that is not offered everyday--so anything that can be made on the stir fry or panini press on a daily basis is not eligible. And what makes a good meal? Something that makes you forget the dreadful assignment waiting in your dorm or forget the test you just bombed. Something that you come across on the internet menu days in advance, and excites you so much that you scream to other people about it. And in some cases, something that most people don't like but you do, so you can get it quickly without waiting in a long-line.

5. Chicken Gyro

This has been a welcomed new addition to the Valentine menu. So long as you don't worry about how much the chicken had to be processed to take on its odd shape, the chicken gyro is an excellent lunch selection. The bread can even be eaten by itself, if meat's not your thing. There may be some panini potential here too--I have not tried it yet.

4. Salmon with Asian Sauce

Due to the efforts of a few, many have suffered. Salmon with Asian sauce is no longer offered at Valentine, but when it was, it was great. You could put that sauce on anything, and it would be good. When students complained about the name, rather than simply relabeling the sauce, the dinning staff has looked to alternatives. While good, they do not match the unique blend of Asian sauce.

3. Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and Valentine Dining Hall celebrates it pretty much every other week. More than anything on the list, this a complete meal. From the turkey, to the stuffing, to the weird veggie mush, to the all important corn bread, you cannot go wrong. The white cake, I mean corn bread, is a day-changer.

2. Crepes Stuffed with Mushroom and Spinach

In general, I think the dining staff goes a bit overboard with the vegetarian options. Always, at the end of the food selections, there is some extravagant vegetarian entree with more ingredients than I can count. Yet, when the dining staff keeps it simple, they excel. Case in point--the vegetarian crepes. I will cut the lines for these.

1. Lasagna/Ravioli

Before coming to Amherst, I never had a proper introduction to Italian food. This was due in large part to my fear of cheese. For example, up through middle school, I only ate cheeseless pizza. However, thanks to Amherst's lasagna and ravioli, I am gradually coming out of this shell. No two menu items perk up my day the way lasagna and ravioli do. As an additional perk, lasagna is almost always served on the same day as chicken fingers, which means the line isn't too long.

Honorable Mention: Turkey Croissant Sandwiches (great on the panini press)

Discuss.

I Can't Put My Arms Down!

And so it begins.

Last year, I said everything that needs to be said about A Christmas Story. All I will say now is make sure to watch it. It starts at 8 tonight and goes for 24 hours.

Year in Ideas, 2008

Last year on the VD, I wrote about my favorite magazine issue of the year: The New York Times Magazine Year in Ideas. Now, I am going to write about this year's issue, though it is far from my favorite magazine of the year. For whatever reason, this year's Year in Ideas is not that interesting. Maybe my tastes have changed or maybe the shrinking ad revenues have really hurt the Times, but either way, I got through this year's issue much faster than normal, since I barely looked at some of the ideas.

Nonetheless, some were still interesting and here are my favorites:

Avian Dancing (pg. 42): It is always a bit upsetting to be on the outside of a YouTube Viral Video. For example, earlier this year, someone showed me this fantastic YouTube of OK Go Dancing on treadmills. I subsequently forwarded the YouTube along, only to be told that I was years late. If over 40 million people have viewed a YouTube before you, then you are clearly out of it. What does this have to do with the NYY mag?

This idea details a YouTube viral video I was also unaware of: Snowball the Dancing Cockatoo.



Pretty unremarkable. At least that's what I thought. However, Aniruddh Patel, senior felow at the Neurosciences Institute in California, thinks otherwise. Apparently there's been an ongoing scientific argument over the evolutionary benefit of dancing. Dancing, according to some scientists, serves a purpose greater than creating awkard encounters. It in fact "confers survival benefits through group bonding." To that end, according to the magazine, dancing should only be seen in animals with a long history of dance and music. And so the fact that Snowball was dancing seems to cast doubt on this theory, given the fact that birds do not have a history of dancing.

Patel did tests on Snowball with different songs and speeds, and showed that the bird really does "indicate sensitivity to the beat and ability to synchronize with it."

That some random video posted by someone of their bird dancing led to such scientific inquiry is amazing. That a scientist is actually playing music to a bird, to see if it can dance, is even more incredible.

Bubble Wrap that Never Ends (pg. 47): A couple years ago, my town got its hands on a tremendous amount of bubble wrap. Not sure how or why, but I am proud to say they used it in the best way possible: my town sponsored a "Bubble Pop Hop." Everyone in the town was invited to the town center, to jump, tumble, and roll on the bubble wrap. It was beautiful.

And that's why I was so excited to read about Japan's Mugen Puchi Puchi ("Infinite Pop Pop), a battery-powered chain that simulates poping a bubble of bubble wrap. The key-chain's bubbles rebound, resulting in endless pleasure.

This does pose an interesting quandary, though. Is part of the charm of popping bubble wrap that it has limits? That you can only do it when someone sends you a package and only before you run out of bubbles? That is the Vegan Dessert Question of the Day. Discuss.

Eat Kangaroos To Fight Global Warming (pg. 55): Cows fart a lot of methane. And that is not good for global warming. With a GWP of 25 over 100 years, methane is far more potent greenhouse gas than is carbon dioxide. And that is why George Wilson of Australian Wildlife Services thinks that more people should be eating kangaroos. Kangaroos, it turns out, do not fart like their cow counterparts, and they don't taste all that bad either. And so replacing cows with kangaroos would play a part in delaying the destruction of the Earth via global warming.

The Spray on Condom (pg. 72): No explanation needed.

This is the first of what I hope will be several year-end VD posts. I hope you are hungry for more.

Pro-Choice?

Almost everyday at Valentine, before I take my requisite bowl of Kashi Heart-to-Heart, I head over to the pizza station and survey the scene. I like to see what ridiculous creation is on tap for the day. Potato pizza? Pineapple, pepper and pepperoni? Chicken and pesto? How about plain cheese pizza?

I am generally completely overwhelmed and do not take any slice to eat. In fact, this semester, I had one piece of Valentine Pizza. There are so many outrageous creations, and I can't decide which one to eat, so I end up eating nothing.

This paradox led to an interesting Valentine conversation with the basic question: is choice a good thing? Would the pizza guy be better off sticking to 2-3 regular, solid, predictable flavors as opposed to 8-10 seemingly random concoctions. Would I consume more of his product if there was less of it?

Barry Schwartz, a sociology professor at Swarthmore College and author of The Paradox of Choice, would probably tell the pizza guy to slow down and stop making so many freaking flavors. An Amherst student showed me a YouTube clip of Schwartz talking about choice (see below for clip). In it, Schwartz lists out the four negative consequences that have arisen from the overabundance of choice:

1. Regret and anticipated regret--If the product is not perfect, then you instantly wonder what could have been. Thus, before you make a decision, you are met by a sort of paralysis, rather than a liberation since you don't want to mess up and feel regret later on.

2. Opportunity Costs--As alternative options have become more attractive, the opportunity costs to decisions have gone up.

3. Escalation of Expectations--You expect perfection; anything less, and you'll be left disappointed.

4. Self-blame--With limited choices, if a product is bad, the honus goes on the producer. Today with so many choices, if a product is bad, the honus goes on you, because you could have chosen something better. Thus you get sad and depressed for your stupid decision.

"There's no question that some choice is better than none, but it doesn't follow from that, that more choice is better than some choice," said Schwartz. Adding, "We have long since past the point where options improve our welfare."

Instead, too much choice has created a "recipe for misery and disaster" according to Schwartz.

What should we make of this world of seemingly unlimited choice, where 10 different cereals, pizza flavors and drinks are offered to us each day at Val? In certain cases, as with the pizza, I simply don't make a decision. In other cases, as with the cereal and drinks, I use habit to defeat the overwhelming grasp of choice. I eat the same cereal/drinks every meal, and establish a comfort zone. Others simply mix five drinks or cereals together at one time so they don't have to make a decision yet they still don't starve.

"The secret to happiness," according to Schwartz, "is low expectations." With this in mind, maybe I'll finally try one of Mr. Pizza's crazy creations tomorrow at Val.

On second thought, I think I'll probably stick to my Kashi and Turkey Sandwich. I wouldn't want to stray too far away from my habits with just a few days left here at Amherst.

Puff Daddy Agrees: Hip Hop is Not Dead

Puff Daddy aka P. Diddy aka Diddy aka Sean Combs apparently had an experience similar to my own at Kanye West's Glow in the Dark Tour. Watch this video to see what I mean:

The Biggest Star in the Universe? Probably

"I love this shit, because I own this shit."

It took nearly an hour of non-stop performing before Kanye West finally talked to the audience at last night's Hartford stop of his Glow in the Dark Tour. And the man spoke the truth--he does own the music world.

Following shorter segments by Lupe Fiasco, N.E.R.D., and Rihanna, Kanye went on an over hour long space traveling hit parade, touching on every major chart he's ever had. He was at times thrilling, inspirational, and egotistical. Throughout, he was freaking amazing.

With spaceship "Jane" there to guide him along, Kanye went on a bizarre trip through the Universe, filled with crash landings and shooting stars. It was at times depressing to see hip-hop's biggest star talk to a make believe space ship, but overall, the space theme added much to the set, including some wit and theatrics.

Kanye sang the new stuff--"Stronger," "I Wonder," "Flashing Lights..." The old stuff--"Gold Digger," "Diamonds are Forever," "Jesus Walks." And the unexpected--"All Falls Down," "Spaceship," and even "Don't Stop Believing." Every song was tinkered with for the live-concert, some more than others, to infuse them with a remarkable energy that kept the audience hopping and asking for more.

The highlight and climax of the concert was undoubetdly "Stronger," though "I Wonder" came in a close second. In both, Kanye's terse lyrics were clearly audible amid the chaos of screaming fans, blaring backgrounds, and impressive pyrotechnics.

The only down moments of the concert were "Get Em' High" and "All Falls Down," when Kanye went a bit overboard with the live-concert changes. When it takes you 30 seconds to realize what song is being played, that's not a good thing. But these were just minor flaws in a set that managed to touch every single big hit I wanted to hear ("Roses" would have been nice, but I realize it's a little to slow and depressing for a live concert.")

I'm pretty sure the rest of the concert was good, though my memory of everything before Kanye has been kind of scrambled. Lupe opened the concert with a short, sweet set. Though the seats were mostly empty, Lupe's goofy style connected with those who were there.

N.E.R.D. was simply LOUD. Every song sounded pretty much the same, as dueling drums covered up anything Pharell tried to sing. "Spase" was one of the craziest, psychedelic songs I have ever head, but other than that, N.E.R.D. did little more for me than destroy my hearing.

I was more anxiously awaiting Kanye than listening to Rihanna during her set, but the screaming girls seemed to like her. "Please Don't Stop the Music" was the highlight for me. "Umbrella" could have gone on a little longer, and it was really bothersome that the dancers never opened up the Umbrellas they were dancing with. I also didn't know Rihanna sang the "Come Mr. D.J." song, so that was cool.

Yet, the first acts could have been trash, and this still would have been the greatest concert I've ever been (note: I've been to very few concerts, but even if I'd been to a hundred, I'm pretty sure this would hold true). The "Glow in the Dark Tour" was not merely a concert, it was a spectacle.

Kanye West is not one to hide his greatness, and for that I am grateful.

"If this concert is rated B, then I want to know what is a fucking A."

So do I Kanye, so do I.

Good, Just Not my Taste

Eh.

I'm not sure I've ever heard Ebert and Roeper use that word to describe a movie, but it's how I felt after seeing Juno yesterday in theaters. The movie was entertaining enough to keep my attention, but it was not memorable. It was an artsy, rebellious version of Knocked Up, and it didn't hold up in comparison.

The movie revolves around independent-minded 16-year-old Juno Macguff (Ellen Page) who gets pregnant with unemotional, undeveloped, uncool Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera). At first she considers abortion, but eventually decides to have the baby and give it up for adoption. Over the course of the film, Juno must deal with all sorts of issues--with Bleeker, the adopting family, and herself--which constantly put the fate of the unborn baby into question. Will she keep the baby for herself? Will she find a different family for adoption? Will she split apart the adopting family?

All of these questions swirled through my head and led to an incredibly awkward viewing experience. The resolution to the questions is underwhelming. The movie begins to head down one track, and then all the sudden veers in another direction, without much transition in between. I know that's very vague, but I don't know how to write movie reviews, and I don't want to give away too much.

I suppose the main reason for my tepid review of Juno is that the previous two comedies I've seen in theaters are Knocked Up and Superbad. They were both two hours of penis jokes, McLovin, and tear-inducing laughter. They were in-your-face comedies that still managed to get a message across. Juno fits into a different category. It's a romantic comedy that's far more subtle. For some, this might be preferred (Juno has gotten rave reviews). But for me (a male teenager), it takes a backseat.

Ellen Page as Juno is fantastic. She is incredibly believable, and some how manages to conquer the complexity of her character. On the other side, Michael Cera as Bleeker is as uncomplex as possible. How many more movies can Cera possibly do? In life, there are certainly people that are emotionally vacant, but in a movie, such characters can get tiring.

If romantic comedies are you're thing, definitely go ahead and see Juno. But if you want to laugh-up the meal you just ate, go rent Superbad and watch it at home.